Michaelia Cash Wins Oscar for Best Performance In A Senate

Entertainment, Politics By The Skewer

Liberal Senator Michaelia Cash has won the Oscar for ‘Best Performance in a Senate’ for her extraordinary ‘Chalice of Blood’ monologue.

Senator Cash was a surprise winner at the Academy Awards ceremony, beating out strong competition from Republican Senator Ted Cruz, whose marathon 21-hour performance to stall Obamacare legislation was a favourite among bookmakers.

In bestowing the award, members of the Academy cited Cash’s performance as ‘Shakespearean in its gravitas’. The panel also noted that Cash inhabited the role of a Liberal Party member out to score political points against her opposition with ‘the utmost conviction and physical commitment.’

Another Australian contender, former MP Craig Thompson, came away empty-handed after the Oscar for ‘Most Outstanding Performance in a Long-Running Denial or Cover-Up’ was given to cyclist Lance Armstrong.

Mr Thompson’s ability to stay in character as a supposedly set-up ex-union official impressed the Academy, however it was Armstrong’s convincing performance in protesting his innocence over more than a decade that ultimately won the most votes.

In the technical categories former Labor MP Craig Emerson won Best Semi-Original Song for ‘Whyalla Wipeout’; a heart-felt dirge in honour of the carbon-tax.

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