U.N Confiscates Middle East Until Everyone Learns How To Share

World By The Skewer

The U.N. has confiscated the Middle East, saying it will only give it back once everyone has learned how to share.

The move came as Israel and Hamas clashed over the Gaza strip, the Syrian civil war dragged on and ISIS captured more territory in Iraq.

The U.N. said that if each side couldn’t be happy sharing with the others then none of them would get to use the Middle East.

The U.N. gathered up the Middle East and put it away at the top of a cupboard, out of reach of ISIS, Hamas, Syria, Iran, Iraq, Israel and Al Qaida and said they wouldn’t get it back down until everyone had a good, hard think about their behaviour and the way they treat other people.

“But they started it,” a Hamas spokesperson protested.

“It doesn’t matter who started it, you shouldn’t throw things at other people”, U.N. spokesperson Mandi Kamanawala replied.

The U.N. said it looked away to pay attention to Ukraine for just a moment and when it looked back the Middle East was in disarray.

“If they keep carrying on like this there will be no TV for a week,” Kamanawala said.

The Skewer is an Australian satire news service. Join in on Facebook or Twitter
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