Julian Assange Set To Win Big Brother Ecuador

World By The Skewer

Breaking News: WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is set to win Big Brother Ecuador.

Assange, who has devoted his life to exposing the evils of wide spread state surveillance, said it would be an especially poignant moment if he finally won the Orwellian competition.

Assange has been holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy in London for over two years and recently announced that he would leave the house soon.

“I’ve always tried to shine a light on the wrongdoing of governments and corporations and keep a check on their attempts to diminish civil liberties, so it would be an honour to win Big Brother,” Assange said.

“It is a bit like beating them at their own game,” he added.

Assange has remained inside the embassy for 791 days despite the London Metropolitan Police spending over 12 million dollars trying to vote him out.

Assange was coy about his movements after Big Brother Ecuador. He wouldn’t confirm whether he would travel to Sweden to answer questions on counts of sexual assault or address rumours that he would be taking part in the next Celebrity Big Brother.

“Just remember, Big Brother is always watching you, whether you’re in the house or not,” he told the assembled press before ducking his head back inside the bay windows.

The Skewer is an Australian satire news service. Join in on Facebook or Twitter
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