National Security “Above Politics”, All Other Matters Free-for-all

Politics By The Skewer

In an exclusive poll of Australian politicians, all have agreed that national security should be considered “above politics”.

Prime Minister Tony Abbott, often photographed in jet fighter cockpits and flak jackets and who yesterday raised Australia’s security level to ‘high’, said that national security and politics should remain separate.

“The security of Australia is paramount, and we simply cannot afford to politicise this as we do each and every other issue,” Mr Abbott claimed.

Demonstrating his bipartisan stance on the issue, Opposition Leader Bill Shorten agreed.

“Health, education, taxation, and any number of other policy questions profoundly affect national wellbeing and, indeed, the life of all Australians, so these should be open for debate.”

“But there is a limit. While we are able to politicise mental health and welfare policy, we simply cannot afford to play politics with security,” Mr Shorten told reporters.

“Decisions on whether to arm organisations classified as terrorists by both past and present governments is clearly above debate, but whether or not to open additional Headspace centres to address youth mental health across the country should always be vigorously debated as a matter of ideology.” Mr Shorten said.

Mr Shorten and Mr Abbott echoed the sentiment that the most basic role of a state includes the provision of security for its people, and Australians should never question decisions made by the government of the day in this area.

“The only exception, of course, is when unionised workplaces come into play,” Mr Shorten added, gesturing about him, “such as this soon to be defunct submarine manufacturer in one of Adelaide’s hardest hit suburbs, which this government is abandoning with their latest defence procurement plan.”

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